Everlasting

Shaun Marler once said, “If you want something that you’ve never had, then you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done.” I have been paying closer attention to things lately whether it is words of a song or a quote as simple as this one. I’ve found that when I allowed myself to soak up words, they have a greater significance in my life. This idea of doing something you’ve never done in order to get something you’ve never had is such an intriguing concept… And then I thought about it a little longer and a little harder.

Lately, my life has been more different than ever. I have been spending more time with new people in my life, like Kd and Chris… and enjoying what every day has to offer me. I have found that my passion for music is even greater than I had thought before and that my love for playing the piano won’t ever fade. But more significantly, I’ve found that putting my life in God’s hands has given me opportunity, it has given me strength, and he has blessed me with true, abundant happiness. On my way to school this morning, I was feeling more tired than I usually do, so I picked up a coffee on the way. I plugged in my iPod to listen to some early morning worship to get my day started off right. As I listened to the words of one of the songs I had known for a great deal of time, I caught onto one phrase: “the art of losing myself in bringing you praise.”

An art, this idea of the production of something beautiful or extraordinary. How could losing myself possibly be an art? Something beautiful or extraordinary? As I was talking to God about this, I had a realization.

Months ago, I decided to give up myself. Whether it was through making my own decisions or trying to live the life I wanted… I had to give it up. Everything I had been trying to do based off my own knowledge, was failing. As much as I thought I was doing what was right for myself, I was wrong in the eyes of the Lord. I had to do something I’ve never done, to get something I’ve never had. Months ago, I lost myself to the Lord… I gave it all back to him because I could no longer attempt to control my life on my own. Through that revelation, came praise. An art of losing myself, in bringing you praise. I love bringing praise to God; I love making him joyful and living out his plan.

I am working on becoming a woman after God’s own heart and going through a study on this right now… and every day when I get into the word and this study, God blesses me with this passion and strength whether it be through writing or screaming the words of a song.

God, thank you, if only there were words greater than those. If only the words that I speak and write could describe you, but you are immeasurable and indescribable. You give everything that is good and bless me with immense passion for you. Continue to work in me, work through me, so I can work for you. May in all my ways, surrender to you…. Lead me in the way of everlasting <3