It gets worse at night.

It's been a week. I feel like it's been longer than that...seven days? I have really only lasted seven days?...
Last night, I had a hard time falling asleep because I knew today was going to be difficult. In the middle of the night, I woke from a dream...crying. This has been happening often, and usually I don't remember what I am dreaming of....but last night I did. I dreamt that I was just with Aaron in his car, he was driving and holding my hand.. singing to me, and I was of course, laughing and enjoying the moment. Waking up from this dream, memories flooded my mind of Aaron and I... Car rides, tickle fights, our first date, our first kiss, our last kiss... I miss him. But how do you not miss someone like that? I'm hurting and all I want to do is to is wake up from this nightmare and hold him again. One day I can stand tall and feel strong, and the next day it all comes back. I lay in bed at night and hope that I'll dream of him so I can at least pretend for as long as I can that he is still here. So tonight, as the overload from school takes over my mind... I will lay in bed... and allow every memory capture my breath, because after awhile, I know memories fade... and I want to hold onto it as long as I can.

A friend showed me this video, helped me see a different side of things...

God will give me the strength tomorrow.

Jewels