I am different.

Dei Gratia.

In this life, you never really get what you deserve. Whether you deserve better, or worse. People get by with doing terrible things all the time...and some people have bad things happen to them, that they don't really deserve. If I have learned anything in the past few weeks its strength. I know that understanding may never come, and I know that an apology from the one that hurt me probably won't come either. But what I have also learned is that you can't change people, you can't make people care about you if they never did to begin with, and you sure can't make some one love you. I guess after this heart break I thought I wasn't enough, wasn't worth the truth...But I realize even more now that it's not that I wasn't worth the truth, its that it wasn't worth my time. People lie, people cheat, they manipulate, and they hurt you... and the thing that's hard to accept for everyone is that people don't care. My issue has always been caring too much, putting my heart into things and being let down. Now, as guarded as ever, I have to find myself. And I am learning how to live my life, each day is a trial and every moment is a battle but I know that there is someone out there for me, someone who won't lie or cheat, or have to pretend to love me...someone that will love me for who I am. God is my strength every day, and he challenges me, tempts me, and puts obstacles on this road, but i am different, and I am alive. I need to stop waiting for people to care, for people to change... I don't need those people, the ones that make me feel so small and weak. I need God, and thats who I have. So if you ask me, I've got it all.. By the grace of God.

xoxo, 

Jewels