Cord of Hope

"Hope in Me, and you will be protected from depression and self pity. Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven. The more you cling to this cord, the more I bear the weight of your burdens; thus, you are lightened. Heaviness is not of My kingdom. Cling to hope, and my rays of light will reach you through the darkness." -Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

This week, my Grandma Dora passed away. Although death is sad and painful, I know that she no longer has the pain of this world and the worries of her time of departure. She passed in her sleep, where she didn't have to experience pain or suffering in her last moments. After she breathed her last breath, she left a broken world behind that no longer had anything to offer her... also leaving behind the people that love her, including my Grandpa Bill, who has stood by her side through it all. When I think of the word commitment I think of him... because through every course of action, he stood by her side. I no longer have either of my Grandmother's, and it breaks my heart. But I know that they are both together in a place where they are healed, happy, and enjoying the presence of my Lord and Savior. I have hope, like a golden cord that connects me to heaven, to my heavenly father... and to the one's that are no longer part of this world.

Lately, I have had a thirst for the Lord. My parents got me a 365 day devotinal for Christmas called, Jesus Calling, as I already mentioned. And although the study is short, it gives me a taste and I only want more. Prior to the news of my Grandma, I spent my Sunday getting breakfast with the entire Sass family and friends, and listening to a sermon based on love and the good Samaritan with Cory at home. I find it a total blessing to be able to pray with someone or to listen to sermons with someone, and not just anyone--but someone who has a thirst for it as well.

Monday night, Cory came over to hang out with me and Brad while my parents went to dinner to get some alone time. We spent the evening in comfy clothes making spaghetti, broccoli, and burnt bread while we watched a movie called Shooter. It was a simple evening, but one that I enjoy most... just being content with someone in a completely relaxed state. I have a full day of work ahead of me, but I started it off perfectly with a Starbucks Coffee and another day of Jesus Calling.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Psalm 46:1

Eleven.

1. Changed my major from teaching to Business Management and decided to be a part of the family business.
2. Spent a week of my Summer at Hume Lake as a Counselor with a cabin full of wonderful young junior Highers that changed my outlook on life.
3. Got the news that I will be welcoming two members to the family: a nephew and a sister in law.
4. Worked and completed an entire catalog for work with my sister.
5. Began my second year of college.
6. Changed my direction of life... Let go of some people that were bringing me down and was blessed with a handful of some incredible people.
7. Said goodbye to my Grandpa Dave, who I was able to spend some time with and get to know in the last year.
8. Turned 20 years old!
9. Got my braces off. Now my jaw is practically healed and my smile is bigger... Whether that has to do with the man in my life or not... ;)
10. Met Cory Sass, who I have been blessed with to have all to myself and share memories and adventures with.
11. Fulfilled a dream of mine when I went to see Wicked at Pantages Theatre in LA with Cory.

Eleven things... Only eleven of the things that came into my mind when I thought about the past year. Just like every year, we make mistakes, we gain something, we lose something, and we ALWAYS learn at least one thing. This year, I've learned two things... One, that regardless of the circumstances, God won't ever leave your side and he always has control. Second, is to never settle for less than you deserve. I put myself through a lot this past year, and when I finally gave God the reigns... He started me on an adventure I would have never gone for alone. He has brought people into my life, people like Cory, who have been behind the scenes for such a long time until God knew it would be best timing for the both of us. And now, with an incredible family, astounding friends, an exquisite boyfriend, and a perfect God... I couldn't be more thankful for the past year... Because even amidst the difficulties and trials... I was blessed with sunshine in my life and true happiness. So thank you 2011, for what you had to offer me and for the trials that you gave me to strengthen me.

"Here is to the nights this turned into mornings.

The friends that turned into family.

The dreams that turned into reality,

And the likes that turned into love."

Happy New Year!!!

Oh the Holiday's

"A moment later, he plopped down on the sand beside her, and when the accidentally touched Gabby had the briefest flash of them sitting together just like this on a hundred different weekends in the future." -Nicholas Sparks from The Choice 

Now that I have finished finals and school for the semester, I have done nothing but enjoy myself and losing myself in a novel lent to me by Cory. I couldn't even begin to explain how wonderful the past week has been for me, even amidst a week of finals... there was just too much happiness in my heart to bring me down. 

Last Saturday, I spent the evening with Cory's family attending his Dad's firemen dinner where he received fireman of the year. After some time in the spa and a Christmas movie, Cory figured it was just about time to celebrate my birthday and surprise me with something he had planned. We jumped in his truck which was filled with blankets, and grabbed some warm coffee. After driving, he explained that he was taking me up to Palomar Mountain. We made our way to a perfect spot after seeing a deer and an owl, and he threw some blankets and pillows in the back of his truck. We laid there with warm coffee and looked out at the beautiful sight: a full sky of stars and a completely full moon. After enjoying a perfect sight, he put on some music and we danced under the stars. I felt as though I was living in my own Nicholas Sparks novel, that somewhere someone was writing my story down because it was that perfect. 

After the clock struck 12, I turned 20. As we made our way down the mountain, Cory pulled out my present... a CD that said, "Happy Birthday!" on it. He went on to explain he had spent the past couple weeks working on a song he had written me. He put in the disc in and I sat back and listened. I was completely taken back and had goosebumps all over... it was just perfect. 

After getting some rest, I woke up and celebrated my birthday with my family and some close friends. It was small and perfect, just what I love. The rest of the week studying and taking finals, and on Friday celebrated with friends. I couldn't be more blessed with this life that I am living out. Christmas is right around the corner, and I can't imagine being in a better place that I am right now to enjoy it. 

Becks <3

Ugly Christmas Sweaters, Handsome Boyfriend :)

My Best Friend <3 

Christmas Lights Galore!

God is Able

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes, and silly people." This past week has been a challenge for me, in the light that I didn't let the struggle outweigh the blessings that were placed upon me. I had some issues with friends this past week which are still clearly not dealt with. I am the type of person who needs confrontation, someone who will come to me and talk with me to my face and resolve issues... a HUGE pet peeve of mine is trying to deal with issues over the phone or over a text message and that is how this issue grew. Yesterday, hurtful words were said to me. While I was eating lunch with friends yesterday, I received messages with words that broke me down to a low point. I tried my best to brush it off my shoulder and not let those words keep me down. When I had some alone time on the way home from school, I simply prayed that God would guide my thoughts and words to his will. 

I carried on with my evening with a group of friends to go see Hillsong at The Rock Church in San Diego. We listened to Frank Sinatra the whole ride up and enjoyed each others company. The concert was incredible... we were about 3 feet away from the stage where we stood worshipping our forgiving God. It was an incredible experience to be able to stand with people that I love and worship the God of love. In those moments I realized how truly blessed I am to be able to come and worship God with my friends. With all that was on my heart, all anger, all hurt, all resentment... I let it go and trusted that God will use it towards his will. Just as people question why there is evil, or why there is pain in this world... we never ask why there is happiness or joy. We are blessed ... and sometimes, we take that for granted. I have so many wonderful things going well in my life, and this weekend I get to celebrate my birthday with the people that truly care for me.

Cory and I after Hillsong

Feet away from the stage, worshipping God. 

Christopher lol

It's the most wonderful time of the year

As Christmas creeps around the corner, I can't help but be excited. This month is probably one of my favorites out of the whole year. Around Christmastime, everyone is happier, friendlier, and full of joy. As school begins to come to an end, the stress of finals and last projects keeps creeping closer to me. This is probably the first semester that I'm not completely buried in stress over finishing school, because I know that it will fall into place. This past weekend has been simply wonderful... Friday night Cory took me to the Cafe at North Coast to listen to some Christmas music and drink some delicious coffee. We grabbed a table near the front and just enjoyed our surroundings. Within minutes, we were accompanied by Steven and Natalie. We had such a good time socializing and laughing about random things, I didn't want the night to end. I finished off the evening with a Christmas movie with Cory's Family, following some great conversations with him, and a few dances to conclude our night :) 

The rest of the weekend was full of Christmas festivities, like getting our christmas tree and going to a church Christmas tea :) Then last night I went to see Cory play worship at Day Break church, where we listened to a sermon on Joy. I am very joyful and happy with where I am at. I am looking forward to this next week, with a Hillsong concert on Tuesday, closing up school, and my birthday on Sunday :)

My weekend events :)

Playing Christmas songs on the Grand Piano at Church.

Blessing

Allan K. Chalmers once wrote, "The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." For the past couple months, I have been incredibly joyous and happy. At first, I thought that with the really good, had to come the bad. I thought that my life was becoming "too good to be true." After everything I have been through in the past year, I found that when I handed my life back to God recently... he gave me contentment and peace, but most importantly he gave me hope.

I have been spending a lot of time with Cory, which I absolutely love. He is one of the best parts of my day and one of the reasons why I laugh and smile so much. I think one of the things I really enjoy about my time with him is that it's effortless. There isn't a moment that I am around him that I know I can't be myself, he just brings out the best in me. The other night, he took me to church with his parents which was just absolutely wonderful. The sermon tied together perfectly with my church's series on prayer, and it spoke right to my heart. As I closed my eyes during a worship song,  I allowed the words to captivate my heart. I sat there and realized just how extraordinarily perfect my life was. My heart, my mind, my soul, and my God are aligned and my path is directed toward a goal.

I once heard a quote that read, "All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within." Not only do I have happiness, but I have the power of God glowing in my heart and flowing through my veins. The seasons of life are all different, some good and some bad. God is blessing me with a season of pure joy, and carrying him within... every season of my life that I enter, I know I will be more than just okay. I know I'll always be blessed, even if it's just opening my eyes in the morning. We have a tendency of thinking that happiness comes from these objects and people that we don't have, instead of realizing that it's appreciating and acknowledging what God has placed in our path, who God has placed in our lives, and what he is doing in your life.

I encourage you to look at what you have, instead of what you want. Ask God to show you, and he will.

God Bless <3

86,400

Albert Schweitzer once wrote, "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have relit the flame within us." Today is Thanksgiving, a whole day set aside from our busy lives to be thankful for what we have. My question is, why do we only set aside one day out of 365 days to be truly thankful for what we have? Why is it that with 86,400 seconds in a day, we cannot take a few of those to just pray and be thankful?

Recently, I have realized how truly blessed I really am. When I handed my life back to God, he has done nothing but bless me. I long for a relationship with him, for his forgiveness and his grace. He has given me a family that is more incredible and beyond words and friends that guide me and love me. In the past year, the fire in my heart went out... My passion, my faith, my hope. Today, I give thanks to a God who has relit the flame in my heart and who has put people into my life to keep that flame going.

 I wish I could sit here and write out all the things I am thankful for, or give details of every moment in my life... because it truly has been amazing. Instead, I will just post some pictures that are recent that make me happy.

Happy Thanksgiving :)

LA Kings Game :)

Beautiful surprise from Cory

Egg Nog!

Addi visiting at work

Thanksgiving Feast

Part of the Fam

Enjoying some quality time :)

Walk on the beach with Soph <3