As a girl, I am always thinking about my future. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl out there who dreams about the life she is going to live, who she'll marry, how may kids she'll have, and the list goes on. Usually these kind of thoughts enter my mind when I'm alone or before I go to bed. I know God has a plan for me, and that his plan is greater than mine and with all my heart I believe in his plan...But the challenge is allowing him to shape me and form me to who I really am. Lately, something has been troubling my heart and to my surprise the trouble my mind and heart were going through had nothing to with myself and my life, but instead the person I love most in this world. I think the hardest part about loving someone and giving your heart away to that person is handling their feelings. With Aaron and I--at least for me--I don't try to be myself, it comes naturally... without any effort in trying to be someone I'm not, I can be myself and he has always loved me for who I am. Lately though, he's been worn out and exhausted over his life juggling work, school, family, life, friends, God...and me. I don't want to feel like a job to him, I don't want to be something that wears him out and wears him down to his core. Albert Ellis once wrote, "The art of love...is largely the art of persistence." Persistence is an act of not giving up, to keep going when the going gets tough. To me, love is giving your all...Love is giving a part of yourself away that you never even knew you had...its the inspiration you get and the breath of fresh air. Love is absolute...and while it seems like madness, its really sheer perfection. It's been scary giving away everything to the person I love, because sooner or later you give away parts that you can't get back. Prayer changes everything, so that's my goal and effort for this week that didn't start out very well...Prayer.
Job 11:18 "You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety."
xoxo,
Jewels
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