Pure Contentment

Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote, "Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." For the longest time, I searched for happiness in temporary beings, whether it be through people or objects on this earth, it wasn't satisfying. There is worldly happiness, and happiness brought by God... two completely different forms. Although the happiness of this world can be deceiving and thought to have been of God, true happiness from the source is beyond compare.

As I lay in bed tonight, I read from Philippians 4:11-12, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." As I take a step back and really pay close attention to the words of this verse, as I say aloud "whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Isn't that what God wants? We are either hungry for more of his love or living in plenty. With Gods love, we are able to be content in a broken world. As it states in Ecclesiastes, "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad consider: God has made the one as well as the other."

He is the source of it all: love, hope, faith, grace...happiness. I do not want worldly versions of these things, they will never satisfy me without God. When I gave my life back to God, he gave me happiness... he allowed me to be content, he gave me hope. Faith, Hope, and Love... these cannot exist without each other. Everything here on earth that makes me happy, is just an overfilling of my cup. God empties me every day to fill me up with his grace.

When I chased happiness, I found that it was always out of reach...sometimes, even just inches away. But when I came to my knees to God, he placed it right in my hands.

He is unfathomable and unexplainable... a God who saves <3

Balboa Island

Laughter, an inner quality, mood or disposition or an expression of amusement. Lately, I have found that laughter cures just about anything and that friendship is worth more than money can buy. Friday night, I had the opportunity to stay the night on the beautiful Balboa Island with my beautiful friends: Sarah, Kd, and Sophie. The night consisted of dinner on the water, a ride on the ferry, and a late night in the apartment. We made videos and took pictures that we would look back and laugh on, and we spent time together laughing.


After falling asleep in the main room with Kd, we woke up to the most beautiful day outside our windows. Kd and I laid there and talked about just how blessed we were to be able to wake up to such a beautiful place. From there, we got ready and walked around the Island, getting yogurt parfaits and coffee :)

After our wonderful tour around the island, we made our way to fashion island where we shopped all day enjoying eachothers company. On the way home, Kd, Sarah, and I blasted Taylor Swift and shouted the words to all the songs and I just sat there in contentment. We sang and we laughed and just enjoyed each other's company. I am so blessed to have these girls in my life, to have them encourage me and look out for me at all times.

When I finally got home, I hugged my daddy who I hadn't seen because he had been away at work. Then I got to go out to dinner with my parents and just me... I felt like an only child, but I loved the quality time. I feel as though my weekend has only begun, excited for Sarah's halloween party on monday :)


xoxo,
Jewels

What we woke up to :)

Sarah <3 

I wish I could explain, but this sums up our friendship hahah

<3 her

Friendship <3

Everlasting

Shaun Marler once said, “If you want something that you’ve never had, then you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done.” I have been paying closer attention to things lately whether it is words of a song or a quote as simple as this one. I’ve found that when I allowed myself to soak up words, they have a greater significance in my life. This idea of doing something you’ve never done in order to get something you’ve never had is such an intriguing concept… And then I thought about it a little longer and a little harder.

Lately, my life has been more different than ever. I have been spending more time with new people in my life, like Kd and Chris… and enjoying what every day has to offer me. I have found that my passion for music is even greater than I had thought before and that my love for playing the piano won’t ever fade. But more significantly, I’ve found that putting my life in God’s hands has given me opportunity, it has given me strength, and he has blessed me with true, abundant happiness. On my way to school this morning, I was feeling more tired than I usually do, so I picked up a coffee on the way. I plugged in my iPod to listen to some early morning worship to get my day started off right. As I listened to the words of one of the songs I had known for a great deal of time, I caught onto one phrase: “the art of losing myself in bringing you praise.”

An art, this idea of the production of something beautiful or extraordinary. How could losing myself possibly be an art? Something beautiful or extraordinary? As I was talking to God about this, I had a realization.

Months ago, I decided to give up myself. Whether it was through making my own decisions or trying to live the life I wanted… I had to give it up. Everything I had been trying to do based off my own knowledge, was failing. As much as I thought I was doing what was right for myself, I was wrong in the eyes of the Lord. I had to do something I’ve never done, to get something I’ve never had. Months ago, I lost myself to the Lord… I gave it all back to him because I could no longer attempt to control my life on my own. Through that revelation, came praise. An art of losing myself, in bringing you praise. I love bringing praise to God; I love making him joyful and living out his plan.

I am working on becoming a woman after God’s own heart and going through a study on this right now… and every day when I get into the word and this study, God blesses me with this passion and strength whether it be through writing or screaming the words of a song.

God, thank you, if only there were words greater than those. If only the words that I speak and write could describe you, but you are immeasurable and indescribable. You give everything that is good and bless me with immense passion for you. Continue to work in me, work through me, so I can work for you. May in all my ways, surrender to you…. Lead me in the way of everlasting <3

Planting a Seed

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

I have heard this phrase thousand and thousands of times, and yet I hear it and disregard it as if I already know what it truly means. But do I? the FIRST day of the rest of my life... The past doesn't matter, whether it was wonderful or full of difficulties. All that matters is that it happened and that I learned from it. I once heard a small tidbit of knowledge that went something like this: If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you are going to be cockeyed today. How true is that? 

Lately, I have been ceasing the day and living my days to their fullest. I promised myself a couple weeks ago that I would actually live my life, no regrets, nothing holding me back. I cannot even imagine what the rest of my life is going to look like if I keep this perspective, which I am :) 

One of the things I have been getting into more is music, of course spending a lot of time at the piano, I have also been getting into concerts. After going to a Ray LaMontagne concert at the end of Summer, I decided I was going to give into my love for it a little more. So last night, I went with my friend Kd to see David Cook, Carolina Liar, and Gavin DeGraw :) AND after the show... we got a meet and greet with Gavin and David, I wish I could describe it.... but I can't, it was just wonderful.

The concert was absolutely incredible, we stood the entire time when Gavin was on stage... Certain songs that had great significance to me, just touched my heart. Our seats were so close, we were able to see Gavin perform up close... and in the middle of one of his songs, he looked and pointed right at Kd and I.... and Kd and I just looked at each other and burst into excitement... it was amazing. 

After starting off my week like that, there is no way the rest of the week can't be amazing. It's going to be full of friends, shopping for more pieces of our Indian costumes for Halloween, girls night, Church, Pumpkin carving, Hiking at Torrey Pines, Balboa Island, and a fun Halloween get-together party!! Of course there are other things I am excited for too :) But I will contain my excitement :)

Hope everyone's week is as wonderful as mine will be :)

He uses the weak to lead the strong

Well it is Sunday evening and I am feeling very excited for this next week and the festivities that I have planned ahead of me :) Tomorrow after work, I am going to Kd to see Gavin Degraw at Humphrey's by the Bay which I am SO looking forward to... she got us the tickets and it's going to be a great little date night for us :) Then on Friday night we are having a girls night! She invited us to come and stay at her apartment on Balboa Island for the night and I am even more excited because my best friend Sophy is going to come too!!! Saturday night I am going to visit my sister who will be camping with the family on the beach in Carlsbad, then Sunday night I am celebrating Halloween with some friends! With an eventful week ahead of me, I reflect on the past week and today and I am so thankful for this life that I am living for God. 

Church this morning was on sharing your faith as a church, which meant consistently sharing the Gospel and our lives with others. Pastor Bill broke it into 3 parts of what was needed in order to share our faith.

1. Relevant Priorities

2. Flawless Integrity

3. Sacrificial Commitment 

It was all about living a life that was worthy of God, something that required sacrafice... Something that modeled Jesus Christ. The thing I found most moving and interesting was when the pastor said that there was no substitute for that kind of life or that kind of God and the foundation of a faith like that is just living a life for Jesus. The pastor read from 1 Thessalonians, "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the Gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." I love sharing my faith and my passion for God with the people around me. So tonight, I finish off my week with some time spent in the word and some time spent with Jesus :) in some nice warm socks and delicious hot cocoa in my new mug from Kd <3 and I pray that I can model a life like that for Jesus.

A Woman After God's Own Heart

I am finishing off a busy school week with some peace and quiet in my own room. As I laid in my bed and tried to translate my thoughts and make sense of this past week, I asked God what he wants of me. Lately, He has surrounded me with wonderful people with a passion and love for God... but something was still missing and it was my own personal study. As much as I was trying to just read straight from the bible, I found it hard to stay accountable.

As I laid on my bed mid-conversation with God, I got up and walked to my bookshelf where my eyes led me to a study book that I never actually started. Three study books compiled into one book... and the first titled: A Woman After God's Own Heart. I smiled, and found myself down memory lane.

Some of my beautiful Campers :)

This past Summer, I was asked by my Pastor if I wanted to be a Junior High counselor at Hume Lake Christian Camps, a camp I had attended throughout High School. Prior to this, I asked God to open some doors for me, and he surprised me with this one. Going out of my comfort zone, I counseled 7 girls and I had one of the best times... And during that week we studied David and how he was a man after God's own heart. I could go on and on and on about David and how he changed my life, but that will be another post... :)

When I opened the study book, I didn't know what to expect... God has been surprising me a lot lately, throwing my curveballs and making sure I am paying attention. Sometimes, I think our God has a sense of humor because he gets my attention in the most entertaining ways. I had been so caught up in the world this past year, trying to be good, trying to be better, trying to be the best... basically, setting myself up for failure.

When I read the first chapter of my study tonight it was about a heart devoted to God and what that takes. It is a daily commitment, a daily battle... a constant practice. When reaching the end of the study, I read the words, "Good, better, best, never let it rest... until your good is better and your better, best." 


My heart just burned inside my chest and I just felt God in my presence and it was just so powerful and I didn't want the moment to leave. So why should it have to? Why should we only have those rare moments with God.... why can't we feel that throughout our day, what is stopping us? Nothing ... nothing besides the devil and our own beings.

I encourage you this week, or even just for a day. Commit yourself, give your day to him and see what he does with your words, your actions, and your heart <3

In Romans 12:1, the apostle Paul says to "offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." Today, I present my body as a living sacrafice... and pray that God will use me according to his will.

Dirt Road Prayer

Spent the afternoon at the piano learning a song named "Dirt Road Prayer"... The lyrics of the chorus just spoke right to my heart...

"And so I go where the green grass grow, 

the weeds are high and the sun hangs low. 

Look the the sky, and I say hello,

Like it's the very first time. 

It doesn't matter how long it's been,

I can talk to God like he's my best friend.

Take my heart and lay it down right there,

in a dirt road prayer."