Chai Tea Latte.

Things have been busy on my end, dealing with school full-time and working 20 hours a week...incorporating piano lessons, piano practice, bible study, college group, homework, and studying into all of that... my days can get pretty busy. I've been trying to make time for friends and family during the week because they are the one's that keep me going and encourage me in my walk. It's been tougher this past week because I've been told some things about my past relationship with Aaron that really hurt me, but I need not to dwell on the bad. There are so many positive things that happened this week, I got 2 classes cancelled yesterday and got to hang out with my friend from school all day, I got to have a sleepover with my friend Elaine, and tonight I am heading to the Jordan college group for some really great fellowship. Prayer has been my challenge this week, there are so many people, especially my friends that need prayer right now... and as much as I would like to pray for myself and my own issues... my focus goes on others this week. Make someone smile this week and tell them you are praying for them, and maybe even do a good deed out of the blue for them :) I know that my friend Kristen did this for me this week, she brought me lunch AND Starbucks at work, which no one has ever done for me. Completely made my week 10 times better. 

Have a great rest of the week all ;)

and GOD bless <3 

xoxo,

Jewel

PS: I just discovered a drink at Starbucks last week called a iced dirty chai tea latte... I TOTALLY recommend it :) 

Feathers in my hair ;)

less is more.

The greatest thing about being who you are is that nobody else can do it better. Oscar Wilde once said, "Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken." I've found that lately, in the midst of living this new life of mine, I am also in a new skin... in a new body. I've also realized that my body is a gift from God and I need to use my body and my life to demonstrate the love of God. This past week has been really interesting, but its also been really great. I've grown so much closer to God, to the point that he's always in arms reach. Thursday was a new beginning for me, starting a new college group with so many people that will love and support me. Friday I hung out with my friend Ezra which was really fun, he even taught me a song on the guitar! Saturday I started the morning with bible study, and then headed to the Carlsbad Campgrounds with my friend Kristen. Driving into the campgrounds memories flooded my memory from my first date with Aaron... and it was really hard but those are all good memories and a part of my past. Overall, it was a really great weekend. I am learning more and more about myself everyday.... and I am putting full-focus on my relationship with God and he truly blesses me everyday. Every day I get the chance to be who I am, and I am the best at being myself. Why waste a second not loving who you are? I am fearless, I am selfless, weightless, anchorless, priceless, reckless... but sometimes, less is more. 

Kristen and I at the freezing cold beach!!

A blessed sunset from God :)

defeated.

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out.

Tonight I attended a college group at a local church by the name of North Coast Church. Lately, I have felt in arms length of God. I've felt that if I made that effort to reach out and hold onto him, that I would feel his touch and feel his embrace. I came to church tonight... brokenhearted and with this feeling of emptiness in my soul. If its anything that moves my heart, its during worship... during music. Music has always been so healing to me, through everything I've been through... Tonight during this song, I felt that God literally took hold of my life and overflowed inside of me some sort of comfort. In this moment of worship, in my heart I felt three simple words: God is enough. 

I asked myself, "What is it that I want?" and I thought to myself, "I want to be pointed in the right direction and know the right way. I want to know the truth and be worthy of it. I want to live my life with a purpose and have it matter. And then, I realized that God is enough for me, and that what I want is God because God is the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE. 

Tonight.... I felt defeated by the love and the grace of God. I felt that my broken heart was in the hands of God and believed that he has the power to heal, even for someone who is unworthy. I felt defeated in the idea that God has a plan, and that he created me in the image of himself to live this life completely for him. I could be alone the rest of my life and still be overflowing with this love and this deep romance that I have with God. I could live my life with Christ as my Savior and be happier and more satisfied with my time here than anyone on this earth, because God is Enough. There are going to be hard days, and my heart will still ache for that love of this world... but tonight I am defeated by the love and the power and the grace of God.

I am here by the grace of God, and God is Enough for me.

Quote of the Day

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
— Mother Teresa

Adele 21

I let it fall, my heart,

And as it fell, you rose to claim it,

It was dark and I was over,

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me,

My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak,

To stand in your arms without falling to your feet,

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew,

All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true,

And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win,

But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Well, it burned while I cried,

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name,

When laying with you I could stay there,

Close my eyes, feel you here forever,

You and me together, nothing is better,

'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew,

All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true,

And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win,

But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Well, it burned while I cried,

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain,

And I threw us into the flames,

Well, I felt something die,

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time,

Sometimes I wake up by the door,

And heard you calling, must be waiting for you,

Even now when we're already over,

I can't help myself from looking for you,

I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touch your face,

Well, it burned while I cried,

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain,

And I threw us into the flames,

Well, I felt something die,

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh,

Oh, no,

Let it burn, oh,

Let it burn,

Let it burn.

Quote of the Day.

"Sometimes when your young you think nothing can hurt you, its like your invincible, your whole life is ahead of you when you think you got big plans find your perfect match, the one who completes you, but as you get older you realize its not always that easy. It's not till the end of your life till you realize the plans you made are just plans but in the end when your looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that your leaving something good behind, you want it all to have mattered."

Whether you choose to believe it or not, every day in this temporary place matters. Make dreams come true, reach goals you never believed possible, fall in love, smile even if its forced... Every day can be a new beginning... You want to look back and know you made a difference.

Have a great weekend :)

Jewel

When all words fail...music reaches the soul.