Trust.

Trust. By definition, is the “reliance on the integrity, strength, and ability of a person or thing.” For a long time, I gave trust out to anyone and everyone and I quickly learned that I was easily let down. When I learned that handing trust out like that wasn’t working, I changed my mindset and began to rarely give my trust away. When I stopped trusting people, I found that my trust in God faded as well, and I constantly worried about each tomorrow, each moment that wasn’t in my grasp. I sat back and watched myself give trust to the wrong people and get hurt, and I watched myself become distant from God and relationships when I became incapable of trusting. And then, when I found that neither extreme brought me to a good place, I had to find a middle ground. Matthew 6:34 states, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Reading that verse, made me want to really learn how to live one day at a time. This course of action would be extremely difficult for me because I am a planner and a worrier, and keeping my mind set on only 24 hours seemed unrealistic.  But trusting God, one day at a time, kept me close to him and responsive to his wants and needs for me. By looking at only those 24 hours, I found that not only it was easier to handle, but easier to reach my goal and keep my eyes fixed on Him.  Trust, as I am learning, is not a natural response, especially for people like me who have had it mishandled. But our teacher is in our hearts, always available for moments of weakness and times of insecurity.

This “reliance on the integrity, strength, and ability” of God, is by far one of the hardest and challenging commands, but when I realized that NO detail of my life is hidden from him, I thought “How could I not trust the creator of the universe, the one who views me through his eyes of grace?” Trust, in God, is by far one of the deepest and most incomprehensible things in this universe, because he asks us to trust him enough to accept full forgiveness that he offers continually, trust him enough to know he will not leave or forsake us, that he has a plan for our future, that in all aspects of our life… we need to rely on HIS trust and not the trust of ourselves or the world. And in order to keep my eyes on him, I need to recognize that I am weak and HE is the supplier of my strength. He supplies me with everything that I will ever need that equates to his plan, so what have I been so worried about? It was MY plan that was causing me to fall, not his.

And now, I am finding peace in his presence and I am not hesitating to receive the joy that he gives abundantly and the blessings that he overflows me with. In a relationship that seemed too good to be true, I started to trust him, and I found that I am able to easily receive his blessings, his joy, his presence, and all other things abundantly… for he commands me in Psalm 46, to be still and know that he is God. Ephesians 3:17-19 states, “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being so rooted and established in love, may have power, together will all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know that this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Who God is, is beyond my knowledge… but I do know that when I really think about how great he actually is… it’s easier to rely on him, and more importantly, it’s easier to trust in him…Because if I cannot trust a God who never changes, then who can I trust? Trust in nonexistent and unreliable if it isn’t placed in the hands of the creator of all… I guess it really has been that simple all along.