Change

Happy Sunday <3 

I cannot even begin to tell you how much has been going on in my life. I feel like my life is changing day by day and I can't even control it any longer, but it's a good thing. God has this control over my life and I am only beginning to see what he is going to do with me. In case you haven't been reading, I've been on a roller coaster ride the past couple weeks and I had to let go of someone very close to my heart. 

Anyone and everyone who is a part of my life knows that Aaron has been a huge part of who I am for the past year... he was my first very serious boyfriend, the first man I ever really truly loved, the first person I could completely open up with, and the first person I completely gave my heart to. But our relationship reached the point where it was no longer healthy. I could sit here and point fingers and point out all the reasons it went wrong, and what we didn't do right... or I could seriously look at what it has taught me. Through this breakup, it has brought me to God, back to him at least. I realized I was relying too much on myself and Aaron... and not enough on God. I realized the only relationship I need in my life right now is the one I have with God. But through this realization comes pain and hurt, and letting go of someone that I truly care about. When I pray for my strength, I pray for Aaron's... and pray that he will also find his path with God and follow it. 

With school going 100 miles an hour, work, and dealing with this new change in my life... overwhelmed is an understatement and church today was a perfect way to refresh myself. My old pastor, Jeffery D. Johnson came and spoke at my church and I was moved to say the least. This was the pastor that brought me to God, who helped me pray the prayer of acceptance of God in my heart. Growing up, I would write him a letter every week and place it in the offering for him to read.... and he was back again. His words were so moving and I couldn't help but feel my heart pulling towards him... 

He works in the middle East and is a missionary worker that brings meals and the word of God to thousands of people over there... and I want to help him in some way. I have no clue what I would do... or how I would help, but I know that something is pulling at my heart to do so. 

This post is much longer than normal, I guess I find peace in writing sometimes.... it relaxes me and clears my mind. I hope to keep updating my blog to whoever reads my posts!!

God Bless,

Jewels